Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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