I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
