I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
