There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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