This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize