Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
