It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize