Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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