I could have mohawked her pubes.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
