What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
