This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am naked and annoyed.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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