I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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