I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Girls should come with a carfax report
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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