im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
