she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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