Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
