Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
