So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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