you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
