haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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