Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
