She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize