I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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