Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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