no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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