Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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