after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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