Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
