So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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