Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
