Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
