your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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