I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
