Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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