I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize