Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
