one two three fourrrrnication!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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