If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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