Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
