I'm lost and stupid without you.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
