i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
