she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
