Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
