So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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