i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
