Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
