I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
