so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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