I love black thongs
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
