Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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