you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
