I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
