Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
