You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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