Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
