i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
