finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
