Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i drank out of a bidet.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
