it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
