Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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