Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
