my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
