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• (561): View more from Florida

  on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?

  (914): View more from New York

  11

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Nah. I did too.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.

  Fav 18 6528 1957

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.

  Fav 0 40 11

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  You did. Then gave it to me.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's like a mythological figure

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.

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