i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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