I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
