I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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