Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
