yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
