what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
